Remembering...

Our Bishop and his wife recently received a mission call to serve in the Ghana, Accra Mission...it's kind of funny because about two months ago I got a call from Bishop Dalton and he said, "Michelle, tell me how a couple leaves for the Ghana, Accra Mission, but returns from the the London, Leeds Mission." I then explained how mom and dad had been called to serve in Ghana, but that partway through their mission the church was ask to cease all missionary work so they finished their mission in England. About a month later, during Ward Conference our Stake President announced that Bishop & Sister Dalton had received a mission call. It kind of makes me wonder if they had their call when Bishop called me, but they hadn't announced it yet.

Since the Dalton's received their call, I have been reading dad's missionary journal. I thought it would be fun to look up the names of some of the people mom and dad worked with and see how they have grown in the Gospel. It's been kind of eye opening to see the work they did and the foundations they laid (literally & figuratively) for the Gospel to come again to the people of Ghana. A lot of what dad was doing, besides training the leaders, was purchasing property for future church houses and overseeing the construction of buildings in progress.

The field was definitely ripe for them! Twice they had men from nearby villages come knock at their door with a list of names of people who were ready to learn about the church and be baptized. It will be good to hear what has become of these men.

Reading through the pages of dad's journal has been therapeutic. We get so busy going through the day to day routines of caring for him that I forget the man he was.

New Shoes?

I received an email from Norman today with this little note:

One cute story for the Poway stay: I woke him up one day and we started the day well. When he was definitely "up" I went back to getting myself fully ready. When I returned to the living room I saw him sitting serenely, looking like he'd finished before I did. On closer inspection, though, rather than wearing his own shoes he was wearing the size 14 near-new boots I had put in the entryway for Brandon, who wears the same size I do. Dad, however, wears a 10 or 10.5! They looked like clown boots on him. Best of all, when I pointed out the problem, Dad said with a twinkle in his eye, "But I like these! I'll just try them out today. Might make my feet grow some."

One thing this disease has not taken away from dad is his sense of humor!

Home Again, Home Again

On May 10th Eli and I celebrated our 20 year anniversary. Eli surprised me with a 14 day cruise to Hawaii! He went ahead and booked the trip while I was away at a conference for work and was going to keep it a secret, but he was having so much fun looking at all the things to do on the islands that he ended up telling me.

Norman and Toni agreed to have dad stay with them for the two weeks we were away. The cruise was to begin on April 27th, but since April 26th was dad's birthday Norm asked if they could have him for his birthday too.

On the way to San Diego to drop dad off we spent the night in Las Vegas. During the ride dad sat up front with me, while Eli slept in the back seat. As we were driving along, every once in a while dad would ask me where we were taking "this load". I think he was having truck driving memories. I just replied San Diego...which would then lead to "I thought we were in San Diego"...

Then while we were in the hotel room, dad kept forgetting we were in a hotel. Thankfully it was late enough that we just went right to bed. But then I got to worrying..."What if this trip isn't good for dad?" and "What if it just confuses him more?" I actually began to feel a little guilty, but then realized that even when dad is home he gets confused...it's sadly part of daily life for him now.

We have now been back home a week and I am happy to report dad has adjusted quite well. I don't even think he remembers being in San Diego. The weather here has been fairly nice the past few days and he has even been able to go out and pull weeds in the yard.

Respite

My last two posts have been a little negative and I feel bad about that, because things are usually pretty good. Having dad in our home has really not changed our daily routines to much...besides the fact that Eli now stays home with dad. When we go out now, if dad is not coming with us, we just have to make sure someone is here with dad. And if dad is coming with us, we just have to be sure to bring a bottle of water for him since he has no saliva glands due to having cancer removed from the roof of his mouth.

Shortly after dad moved in with us, we found Aspen Senior Care. It is an in-home health service that has nurses or personal assistants that come to peoples homes to help with various in-home health needs. We don't really need in-home health care services for dad right now, but wanted to find out what services were available before we needed them. While talking with Susan, from Aspen, about the services they offer she mentioned that in June they would be opening Aspen Senior Center, a Senior Day Center. They offer respite care for family caregivers. The daily activities are very similar to the activities dad participated in while living at Jamestown.

We drop dad off about once a week to give him an opportunity to have to social interaction and activities, and to give Eli a break to run errands and such. It's kind of nice, because they have a "drop in" option. This way we aren't committing to attendance and then dad ends up sleeping in and not going. Since dad was up and about pretty early today, we decided it would be a good day to go to Aspen. Here's a couple of pictures of dad with the birdhouse he painted as craft project.

"Hello"

Dad's sleeping habits are changing. He used to stay up 'til all hours of the night puttering around in his room and then sleep until about 1:00 the next day, but lately he's been saying he was ready for bed at about 10:00 and is quite often in bed by 11:30. He still sleeps in a bit, but is usually up and dressed by 10 or 11:00. Except for sometimes...the thing that's changed is that now on the nights that he is up late (last night he was up until midnight), he is also up early!

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night, so at 6:00 I called in to work and left a message that I would be late. Just as I was falling back to sleep I heard dad...he was up at 6:30 calling "Hello?" He forgets that this is my house and thinks we are at a hotel and calls out to see where everyone is. Sometimes I can tell him we are still in bed and he should try sleeping for another hour. Today when I called down to him he went back into his room, but was back out 20 minutes later..."Hello?"

UG!

Can I just say "I hate this disease!" It breaks my heart to watch my father deteriorate before my eyes!

When dad was first diagnosed with dementia, I used to wonder what it would be like...would he just wake up one day and not remember me? Now that we are in the middle of the journey, I see that it is a slow progression. We are at a very frustrating point in the deterioration. Dad's memory is continuing to get shorter and shorter, but his sarcasm is still very sharp!

It's 11:00 and I am the only one up, sitting out here in the living room with the lights out and the TV on while I do some work on the computer. Dad has gone in to his room to go to bed three times now. He is in his pj's and his dentures are already soaking, but he keeps coming out of his room with his flashlight looking for something. When I ask if I can help him, he doesn't know what he's looking for. Add that to the fact that I can barely understand him with his teeth out & he gets very frustrated with me. The last time he told me he was looking for something for his flashlight. Well, it can't be batteries he needs because it is working, so I ask if he's looking for a leather strap for it. (Dad has put a leather strap on every tool in his room. He has a bucket full of leather pieces and lacing that he uses to make and re-make straps for all his flashlights, tools and water bottles.) He tells me, "Yes, that's it." I take him back to his room, and when I open the door, there on his bed is the leather strap he just took off the flashlight! He tells me it's too short (because he just cut it in half with the scissors that are laying beside it), so I get out his bucket of leather strapping to get a longer piece. As I am getting the bucket out for him, I tell him it's late and he should probably put it all away and work on it in the morning. Big mistake!

Lately one of the things dad does, is take something someone else just said and remember it to be his idea. As I set the bucket on his bed and take the lid off, dad asks me what it's for. When I show him that there are longer straps in it he starts going off on me about how he knows what's in the bucket, because he's the one that put it in there. And that's where he got these laces to start with and that's where he was going to put them now, because it's late and he should go to bed.

UG! I was only trying to help! All I could do was stand there, bite my tongue and hold back the tears. I hate this disease!

I should add that usually when dad has been sharp or mean he is also quick to apologize. And every night as I turn down his bed and get his denture cup ready for him, he tells me how grateful he his for me.

Funny How One Thing Leads to Another...

Dad has always had two pairs of glasses...one for regular wear and one for reading. While he was living with Suzy, she started getting two pairs of each so that when he misplaced one pair...I told you about the black hole in his room...she would have a back up pair until the lost pair was found.

In November, dad's main pair of reading glasses had become lost and had not yet been found before he also lost the back-up pair. It was about time to get dad's eyes checked anyway, so I took him to America's Best for an eye exam and to get glasses. Shortly after the optometrist began, he told me it looked like dad has the start of cataracts and he would not be able to help us. He explained that I should take dad to an ophthalmologist and that any new prescription he would give me now would probably change once dad had the cataracts removed. I explained that we really needed to have some glasses for now, and that it was worth it for me to replace them later. After completing the exam the doctor said he was surprised that as he was checking dad's eyes there was actually improvement when adding lenses. I guess usually adding lenses to a person with cataracts does nothing.

In January when I took dad to the ophthalmologist, the doctor said he does have cataracts. The doctor wanted dad to take a Field Vision Test before scheduling any surgery, so we scheduled a Field Vision Test for two weeks later. The results of the FVT were irregular, and showed possible problems with dad's optic nerve.

Because of the results of the FVT the doctor ordered a CT scan. Dad had the CT scan in early February. We had to wait a week for the results though because the doctor was on vacation. When he returned, the ophthalmologist called to say that the CT scan also showed some irregularities. He said there were some patchy black spots throughout the brain, which is often a sign of cancer. He recommended that we follow-up with dad's primary care physician.

Yesterday dad had an appointment with Dr. Dorus, his regular doctor. Dr. Dorus also did not like the results of the CT scan, but he didn't seem to want to use the "c" word. He ordered blood tests and a bone scan in order to get more information.

I just received a call from Dr. Dorus' nurse, the blood works looks okay. One of the levels they check for signs of cancer is the PSA (whatever that is), and dad's has been consistently a little high. Dr. Dorus has never worried about it though because although it is a little high, it has always remained the same. According to the nurse today, dad's levels are staying the same. Hopefully this is a sign that these irregular tests are nothing to worry about. We will go ahead with the bone scan next week just to be sure.

Please keep dad in your prayers that all goes well for him.