HaPPY BiRTHDaY!

Today is dad's 84th birthday and to celebrate his doctor gave him an $800 shot in the behind. 

Originally dad's follow-up appointment was scheduled for Tuesday, but the doctor ended up needing to reschedule due to a surgery. I didn't want to wait too much longer for the results, and since there was an opening today we took it. 

Before giving him the shot the doctor gave us some really good news...the biopsy was benign with no signs of malignancy. The shot was a hormone to help reduce the size of his prostate...which is three times larger than it should be. The doctor said the shot would last three months and shrink the prostate by 50% in six weeks. He said that the most effective way to repair it would be surgery. When I mentioned dad's age and said I wasn't sure he could physically handle a surgery, the doctor mentioned that he agreed because it would be major surgery. 

As for the mass in his right kidney, they will do an ultrasound in three months to check and see if there has been any growth. I am really not to worried though because dad's PSA level is 6.71, which the doctor will check again in three months as well, but he said that normal for a man dad's age is 6.54, and he would expect it to be in the 600's if dad had cancer.

Eli and the boys took dad out to lunch for his birthday while I was at work, and then we all took him out for dinner too. My nephew Spencer (who is attending BYU) and his new bride Nikki were able to join us...It was good to see them, even if dad couldn't figure out why they were calling him grandpa. 

I have been getting weekly newsletter emails from caring.com and this weeks letter talked about how good laughter is for the stress of caregiving, as well as for the person being cared for, so I have to share...tonight as we sat down to the table to eat, dad said, "I feel like I've fallen on my hind quarters." And I told him, "That's because you had an $800 shot in the butt today." He said, "I did?" and after I confirmed he had, he said "That's the kind of thing I don't mind forgetting!"

No Malignancy...

Dad's appointment to talk to the doctor about the results of the biopsy is not until Thursday, but thanks to modern technology I received an email today stating "You have an important update regarding your health from Central Utah Clinic." I quickly logged into the portal to dad's medical records and there was a note that 42 results had been added to his health record. The reason there were 42 records was because each of the six samples had several results...the Diagnosis box on all of them stated, "Benign prostate tissue showing glandular atrophy with chronic inflammation. NO EVIDENCE OF MALIGNANCY. 

YAY! This is good news. Thursday we will find out what needs to be done to treat dad's enlarged prostate. Still not sure about the dark spot in his liver or the dark spots throughout his bones, but I'll take this good news for now.

Let the Waiting Begin...

Dad had his biopsy today. Wow! As we walked into the office the nurse had already set up the room and the tools were sitting on a little table by the examination table. The one that caught my eye was the needle looking thing that was about 12 inches long. Beside it was some kind of probe type instrument.

When Dr. Crowley came in he explained that the probe-like instrument was an ultrasound machine and would help to see what's going on. It was kind of funny, because once dad was laying on his side and ready for the procedure, Dr. Crowley apologized as he was inserting it because it was cold. To which dad said, "Yeah, but it's still there."

As he was taking the pictures of the prostate Dr. Crowley showed me how the prostate was crowding out the bladder. Then after taking some pictures and measurements, he stuck the needle up inside the ultrasound wand and took six samples.

When he was done, he said that he didn't really think this is cancer. He said that with most men that have prostates as big as dad's their PSA levels are in the 600's, and from what he could see and dad's PSA levels, he was hopeful that this was not cancer. Yay! When I asked about what they saw in the bones and the kidney, he said we would have to do a few more test to see if we can figure out what they are.

The results for tests like these take a week, so we will find out next week what they are.

No Triposy...

One morning in mid-February, as dad was getting dressed, Eli noticed blood on dad's under garment and also on his penis. When I called to make a doctor's appointment the doctor didn't have any openings for a few days, so he asked us to bring dad in for a urinalysis in order to have the results back before the appointment.

A few days later when we saw the doctor the results of the urinalysis showed no signs of infection. As the doctor was getting ready to examine dad, he said he had two questions for me. The first being, "Has he been in much pain?" To which my answer was that it's hard to tell, because most of the time when dad complains about any kind of pain, by the time I get him an Ibuprofen or Aspirin he has forgotten what I was getting it for. The second question was, "If this is not an infection and proves to be something more, how would you proceed?" Knowing that "something more" meant cancer, my answer was that we would let it run it's course and manage dad's pain and discomfort. (I know that might sound harsh, but dad was always so proud of his memory and to see him getting more lost and confused every day just breaks my heart.)

After hearing my answer doctor Duros said, "This is not an infection. It is something more." He ordered a blood test to check dad's PSA levels (PSA stands for Prostate-Specific Antigen and is used to detect prostate cancer), and a CT of dad's pelvic region. The doctor's office has a lab, so they were able to draw his blood after the appointment. We scheduled the CT for a week later.

The CT scan was scheduled for 1:00 on a Friday. It took quite a bit of time too, dad had to drink some stuff over a 45 minute period and then wait another 15 before they took him back; then he had a reaction to the dye during the procedure, so they wanted to watch him for another 1/2 hour after the scan was done. As I was waiting in the dressing cubicle, the radiologist walked someone else out from having something done. He was telling him that usually he gets the results to the doctor within 24 hours, but since it was Friday, he probably wouldn't get the results to the doctor until Monday.

It was 3:00 as I dropped dad off at the house and headed back to work, and just as I was turning off our street I remembered I'd left my cell phone at home. I considered going back for it, but decided I would be back home in 2 hours and anyone that might need to get a hold of me would also have my work number...I should have listened to that prompting to go back! At 5:15 when I got home, there was a voicemail on my cell. The doctor's office had called at 3:45 to discuss the results of the CT and wanted me to call back. Darn, I had to wait the whole weekend.

I called the doctor's office first thing Monday morning, but the girl at the front desk said she couldn't give me any information and I would have to wait for the nurse to call me back...she never did! Tuesday morning I called again and when the receptionist tried to tell me the nurse would call me back, I told her that's what I had been told the day before, but she never did, so was there someone else that I could talk to. I was on hold for a while, but the nurse finally came to the phone...only to tell me that the doctor wanted to discuss the results in person. Really? Why couldn't the receptionist tell me that? Doctor Duros had an opening that afternoon, so I took it.

Dr. Duros informed us that dad's PSA was at 6.71 and normal for a man dad's age is 6.54, so his PSA was up, but not much. It was the CT scan that had Dr. Duros worried. It showed his prostate to be rather enlarged, a dark mass in his left kidney, and dark spots of "unknown origin" throughout his bones. He said he was surprised dad wasn't in more pain, because it looks like he might possibly have prostate cancer that has already metastasized to his bones. He said studies have found a connection between prostate cancer and testosterone, and discovered that an anti-testosterone therapy can slow or stop the development of the cancer. He said a Urologist would probably want to do a biopsy before starting any therapy though, so his nurse made an appointment with a urologist for us.

I hadn't told Suzy or Norman about any of this. I was waiting to get the results of the CT scan, just in case it wasn't anything to worry about. When I called Suzy, she said it was going to be Spring Break for them next week and since Ryan and Spencer had birthdays coming up they had been toying with the idea of coming to Provo. So since they were in town, Suzy came with dad & I to the doctor's appointment. We figured she could help to distract dad while I spoke with the doctor, because I don't want dad to know he's got cancer. Even though dad's memory is getting shorter and shorter he has a tendency to fixate on one thing and ask about it all day long. I really don't want to be answering questions all day long about who it is that has cancer.

Dr. Crowley, was very nice even though he didn't really understand my not wanting dad to know about the cancer. When Dr. Crowley pulled dad's CT scan up on the computer and started showing it to me and explaining what I was seeing, Suzy started asking dad about his shoes...she's so clever! The scan showed that dad's prostate is so big it is crowding out his bladder. Dr. Crowley explained that if a normal prostate held 50 liters dad's had 180, so I could have an idea of just how oversized it was. He said he wanted to do a biopsy of the prostate, but that probably the only way of telling what the dark mass in the kidney was would be to go in and cut it out. I told him that I didn't think we would want to put dad through surgery, but the biopsy would be a good way to get some answers. He then asked if it was okay to tell dad he wanted to perform a biopsy.

Dad always worries when I take him to the doctor's that they are going to want to "cut on him." So when Dr. Crowley rolled his chair over to be sitting across from dad and said, "I would like to do a biopsy on you to see if we can get some answers about what is wrong with you. Would that be okay?" I was not surprised at all by dad's answer. Dad told him, "Well just as long as that's all you do. I don't want you saying you're going to do a biopsy and then getting in there and doing a triopsy." Of course Dr. Crowley promised he wouldn't.

Don't Forget to Pray...

Growing up, dad never forgot to pray. At the beginning and ending of every day, before every meal, at before any trip we had a prayer.

At mealtime, after we bless the food and begin to eat, it is not uncommon to see dad saying an individual blessing on his food, because he's forgotten we already blessed the meal.

Often in the evening as I am helping dad get ready for bed and he is being really slow, I will go upstairs and put on my pajamas while dad is finishing getting his on. If I get side-tracked and am too slow, it is not uncommon for me to find dad kneeling beside his bed saying his evening prayers. One evening not too long ago, after finding dad saying his prayers, I posted to facebook "I love that even though my dad is losing his memory and sometimes forget my name, he never forgets to pray!"

We got our family pictures taken a while back and the photographer wanted to get a few of dad and I together. Dad wasn't really following directions very well though, and at one point she suggested I bend over and kiss dad on the forehead. It turned out to be one of my favorite pictures, so I made it my profile picture on facebook.

The other day I received a message from a friend that had just seen the picture. She wrote: Love your profile picture! It reminded me of two things: First, probably my all-time favorite FB post from anyone is when you said you love how your dad may forget your name but he never forgets to pray. And second, last Sunday, it was so sweet to see him just sitting there, and then sometimes during the hymns he would just automatically start singing. He is a great example to me of having the gospel ingrained into your very being!

Funny how even as his memory is deteriorating, dad still continues to be an example.