Room #12

Sometimes dad forgets that this is my house and thinks we are in a hotel. Usually the clue that that's what he's thinking is the fact that he will ask, "What's our status?" It used to be when I would ask what he meant by status, he would ask how long we were going to be staying here and when would we be going home.

Tonight when he asked me what our status was, I replied, "This is my house and we are in Utah, this is where we live." At first he was satisfied with that response, then he came back and asked, "Does we include me?" To which I explained, "Yes, you live with me and my family. All you stuff is here in your bedroom." Adding the last sentence because the usual next question is whether he has all his clothes here, but tonight he surprised me. His follow up question was, "Does it have my name on it? Is it number 12?"

After moving in with us, dad's memory of living at Jamestown for a year quickly disappeared. I always feel bad when we run into some of the staff from there, because they all loved dad so much and seem hurt at how quickly he forgot them. Tonight he surprised me because his room at Jamestown was #12 and his name was on the wall beside the door.

All my bags are packed...

Lately when dad asks when we are going to California I remind him that we were just there last month. I feel bad reminding him about something he has no memory of happening, so on Saturday when he asked, I told we had just been down for a visit, but would probably be going again in November for Thanksgiving.

Yesterday after church he asked, "Where am I going...?" I told him that it was Sunday, so we didn't have plans to go anywhere. He seemed okay with that answers, so I started making dinner and he went to his room to change out of his church clothes.

As dinner was cooking, I sat down at the computer to check Facebook and my sisters blog, then started playing some games...it's amazing how much time you can waste on the computer and not realize it.

Anyway, I was sitting there at the computer when all of a sudden, dad's face comes around the corner....lately, when dad's got a question that he's embarrassed to ask out loud he gets really close to your face so he can whisper. I looked up startled and dad asked. "Where am I going?" I told him it was Sunday and we didn't have plans to go anywhere. That answer wasn't what he was looking for, so he said, "I know, but why am I packing a suitcase? Where am I going?"

When I went into his room with him, he had started packing ALL his belongings into a suitcase.

California

Even though dad has been living in Utah for 16 months now, it is not uncommon for him to ask about either when he is going back to California or if someone is coming to pick him up. At first I felt a little guilty about him having to make the move to a colder climate and let him believe he might return to California once the colder weather came. Then few months after he first moved up here, he started remembering the fact that Utah was home now and quit asking about when he was going "home" to California.

We recently spent 10 days in Oceanside for a vacation. We prepared dad in advance so he knew we were going to visit, but that he was also coming back with us. We also kept telling him it was "next month" then "in a few weeks" until the night before we left, so he wouldn't worry and pack his suitcase over and over.

We were a little concerned that if we stayed with my sister Suzy that dad would get confused and go looking for his room, since he had lived with her & her family for four years before moving up to Utah. So instead, we rented a condo at the beach not far from their home.

Dad did pretty good while we were there...well, let's say he wasn't any more confused there then he is at home. He did ask Suzy where she got her dark hair a few times, because he was thinking she was me.

One morning we met Suzy and three of her boys, Spencer, Brandon and Robby, and our niece Claire & her husband Dan at the Oceanside harbor to go jet skiing. Suzy had recently bruised her ribs on a bike ride and was not able to jet ski, so she took dad back to her house while the rest of us played. Later, we met my nephew Evan and his family at the beach for a surfing lesson, so it was kind of late in the afternoon when I went to get dad at Suzy's.

As dad and I were driving back to the condo, dad asked "When is it that we are going to California?" When I told Eli about the conversation his reply was, "Maybe we can tell the boys we live in California," since dad no longer recognizes when he is there.

We have been home about a week and a half now and the weather has been quite pleasant...warm with a breeze, not too hot. Last night as dad and I were taking a walk he asked me, "So are you going back to Utah?" I just told him "Yes."

I think that California has just become a place in dad's memory. He knows he lived there and it was warm and sunny, but the real details of "California" are gone.