Would You Like Some Chocolate Milk With That?

Dad loves his chocolate milk! Ever since losing his saliva glands due to cancer in to roof of his mouth it has been his drink of choice. The thickness of the chocolate milk makes it easier to swallow. He also likes oatmeal for breakfast, and about a year ago he started adding his chocolate milk to his oatmeal.

Since having dad live with us we have figured out a few things, one is that he doesn’t eat much, and another is that he likes softer foods. I’m not sure if it’s because at Jamestown most of the food was soft and mushy so he got used to it, or if it’s because of his dentures. Anyway, we have learned to adjust our cooking habits. We try and feed dad four smaller meals every day, and at dinner if we are having steak or something crunchy we prepare some other soft food for dad. One thing we found that he enjoys is different rice and vegetable meals or soups…he recently started adding a bit of his chocolate milk to these also.

Sunday evening we were having taco salads for dinner. When I served dad I omitted the lettuce, so he had crunched up Fritos, meat, and cheese in his bowl…to which he added chocolate milk, a lot of chocolate milk. After about 15 minutes, he got up from the table and started toward the kitchen. Tanner saw what he was doing, and told him he needed to show his bowl to me so I could see how much he’d eaten…not that this has happened before or anything. When dad brought me his bowl at first it was hard to tell how much he’d eaten because there was SO much chocolate milk. Then I took his fork and tipped the bowl sideways a bit, and I started checking to see how much “taco salad” was left in the bowl. As I was doing this, I was explaining that it was hard to tell, but it looked like he hadn’t eaten very much and asked him if he thought he could eat a few more bites. Dad took the bowl and said he’d try. I then asked if he thought a spoon might help.

I brought dad a spoon and he ended up eating most of his dinner. As he was finishing it up, he would tell me every few minutes what a bad idea it was to add chocolate milk to his dinner…I guess chocolate milk flavored taco salad isn’t so tasty!

When Ya Gotta Go...

I am a night-owl...or an insomniac. Last night at about 11:45 I was up reading an assignment for my Ethics & Values class, and I heard a sound. It sounded like the door to the back of the house opening. (I think it used to be the back door before the addition, now it just separates the bedrooms from the rest of the house and I usually keep it closed at night, so the TV doesn't bother others that are sleeping.) When I turned to look, the door was still closed, so I just went back to my reading. A few minutes later dad came through the door. He was being slow, and I wasn't sure he knew where he was, so I asked, "What can I get for you dad, or are you looking for the bathroom?" to which he answered, "Well yes, I needed the bathroom, but I just peed outside over there." He was pointing to the foyer area by the back door. When I went to see, dad had "relieved" himself in the entryway. Oh Joy!

I'll Love You Forever...

Dad has been living in Utah for 2 1/2 years now, and the last year and half have been with us. Having dad in our home has really not changed our daily routines to much...besides the fact that Eli now stays home with dad. When we go out now, if dad is not coming with us, we just have to make sure someone is home with dad. And if dad is coming with us it takes longer to get ready and get going, plus dad's walking has slowed down considerably...I didn't really think that was possible...so getting dad even from the house to the car and then the car to the appointment takes at least an extra 10 to 15 minutes. I feel bad, because there are times when we are hurrying out for a quick trip to the bank or store & we sneak so dad doesn't ask to come along. I know he loves getting out, so I try to take him for rides or to walk around WalMart pretty regularly, but sometimes he doesn't get to come.

For the longest time the effects of the dementia have been slow, but lately dad's memory seems to be becoming worse at a faster pace. It's gotten to be that I can almost set my watch by the level of dad's confusion. It starts at about 7:20 p.m. every evening. He starts with, "So what's our status?" or "What time is someone going to take me home?" We explain that we are home, and he lives here with us. The next question is usually something to the effect of "Does my family know I'm here?" to which we explain that we are his family and that all the other family members also know where dad is and have even been here to visit him. That usually helps him for a bit, but typically less than 5 minutes later the routine starts over. It breaks my heart to see dad so confused, and about the third or fourth time he asks, he’ll say “I know you’ve told me this, but I just can’t remember…” I have to admit, it gets really tiring! But as frustrated as I get on the inside, I try not to let it show because I am sure dad is just as, if not more, frustrated.

Lately, at about 9:30 p.m., to help reduce the confusion, I will take him to his room and help him start getting ready for bed. I’ll get his dentures ready to soak, while he starts to change, then I’ll just sit in his recliner and we “visit” while he is getting his jammies on. In his room, with all his pictures and plaques, dad is not so lost. And I have to admit, growing up dad and I did not “visit” too often. Not that we had a bad relationship or anything…I was just closer to mom. Now, I take advantage of our chances to “visit,” which is usually looking through his pictures and having him tell me who all these people are, or me asking questions about when he was younger.

So last night as we were going through the routine, I thought of the cycle of life and the children’s book I’ll Love You Forever and how we are living that story…then this morning when I checked in on facebook, my friend had posted the following video that sums it up perfectly.

Are You Sisters?

We had quite a bit of family in town last weekend, because Suzy's son Spencer was sealed in the Salt Lake Temple on Friday, September 23rd to his beautiful bride Nikki, and then on Wednesday the 28th her son Brandon went into the MTC. It was fun having so much family around...I love getting to spend time with my family. We always have a good time. Dad did pretty good too. He gets confused with the grand kids and has to be reminded who they are and which one of his kids they belong to, but he even forgets my name quite often.

Suzy stayed in town to do some more pre-mission shopping and take Brandon to the MTC, but Brent and Robby needed to get back home for school. Tuesday evening we went out to dinner as a last hurrah for Brandon. At dinner, Suzy and I sat across the table from dad. I hadn't noticed him staring at us at first, but just as I noticed he asked, "Are you sisters?" In unison we answered, "Yes." Just as we answered him, you could see him get a glimmer of recognition as he said, "And I'm your dad?" I love seeing that glimmer in his eye...I don't see it so much lately.