I am an insomniac. I have always had a hard time falling asleep. It is not uncommon to find me still awake at 1 o'clock in the morning, out in the living room either watching TV, reading, or playing games on the computer, because it keeps Eli awake if I watch TV in bed.
It used to be that every once in a while dad would wonder out at about 1 or 2 in the morning looking for the bathroom, because he forgets there is one in his bedroom. There have also been a few times that as I've walked past his room on my way to bed his light was on, and when I'd open the door to see what he's up to...he's dressed and puttering around his room...but lately it's getting to be more regular.
Two nights ago, I had gone up to bed at about 1:30 and had fallen into a pretty deep sleep and suddenly I heard "Hello!" It happened a few more times, but I was in such a deep sleep that at first I started incorporating the "Hello!" into my dream, until the mother instinct on me kicked in and I realized it was dad. When I got down to his room, he was standing in front of his window with the blinds open yelling "Hello!" I told him it was 2 o'clock in the morning and everyone was asleep, then asked him who he was calling. When I turned on the light, I saw that he was still in his pj's, but had on a belt and shoes. He told me he was looking "for the...for the...I feel like such a fool, I can't remember the name." He was holding his hands in like a circle shape, so I asked if he was looking for his flashlight but that wasn't it. He then informed me that he was working on a project for a Marine and had lost the part and was going to get in "all kinds of trouble" if he didn't find it. I told him I thought he had been dreaming...big mistake! He had NOT been dreaming, and was going to be in all kinds of trouble if this part was not found! Then I decided to join his reality and try finding "the round thing" that I knew didn't exist. After looking under his bed, in the drawers, and behind the door, I told him I couldn't find it so he should go to bed and maybe we'd find it in the morning. Dad just looked at me and said, "If you want to get me shot, I'll go to bed." I tried to calm him down and told him he wouldn't get shot, but he needed to lay down and go back to sleep. I got him back in bed and then went to go to the bathroom.
As I was walking back by his room on my way back to bed, I saw his light was on again. When I opened the door, he was looking for "the round thing" again. By this time, I am so tired that I just want to go to bed. Once again I try to help dad find this missing thing, but of course we are having no luck. I try a couple of times to tell dad we may have to wait until morning and just talk to the Marine and explain what happened, but dad is sure he is going to be put in jail because the Marine needs this missing thing "first thing in the morning." Now dad is visually upset and worried, and all I can think is "how am I ever going to get him calmed down and back in bed?" We look around some more, and now dad is calming down. I am finally able to tell him we can take care of it in the morning and he agrees, although he's not happy about it. Just as I get him back in bed and turn out the light, he says "Now I've got to go the bathroom" then makes a disgusted sound and says, "I should just piss myself." I turned his light back on and got hime steered toward the bathroom, happy to have a diversion to take his mind off "the lost thing."
Last night, right at 2:00 as I was getting ready to head to bed, dad came out of his room. I asked him what he needed and he told me he needed a ride home. When I walked over to him, he had shoes on with his pajamas and was carrying a coat, a shirt, and some pants folded up in his arms. I told him that he was home and I took him back to his room. As I was putting his clothes back in his closet, I noticed a bulge in his pajama top. I asked him what was in his shirt, as I was putting my hand inside it, and pulled out his wallet, three handkerchiefs, and a little pack of tissues. Then as he turned around to get in bed, I noticed his gloves tucked in the back of his waistband. This time it was a whole lot easier to get him back in bed!
I think maybe part of why I've started staying downstairs and falling asleep on the couch watching TV is because I know dad is probably going to wake up and start wandering. This way, I am here to guide him back to bed and make sure he doesn't wander outside.
No comments:
Post a Comment