Today I took the day off work drove dad up to the VA hospital in Salt Lake City.
I have a friend that I met when I was working at the prison that works for the VA. He was the VA rep for veteran offenders & I was his liaison at the prison. I mentioned to him back in February that dad had applied for a VA Aid & Assistance pension that is available for veteran's needing home health care or assisted living and he suggested I also get dad enrolled at the VA hospital. I guess the VA has two sides, the benefits side & the medical side. And even though the pension dad had applied for was to pay for medical expenses, it is through the benefits side. By enrolling dad in the VA hospital he is now eligible for medical benefits. He has really good insurance & so far we haven't needed the VA for medical benefits, but since we don't have a crystal ball to see the future we thought it was a good idea.
Whenever we go to these types of meetings I have to walk a very fine line. I have to be able to talk to the people helping us about dad's situation without belittling him. Luckily, dad moves very slowly, so usually I can get a quick explanation in before he is in hearing distance. The intake guys desk was right next to the waiting room, so there wasn't much room for quick conversations. When he asked how he could help, I just quickly told him "My father has Dementia & we wanted to get him enrolled for medical benefits." I don't think dad heard, which was good, because he forgets that he has Dementia & then usually argues that he does not.
The hard part came later when the VA guy was asking about the pension payment for Aid & Assistance that dad is supposed to be getting. As he was looking at dad's paperwork he asked about the payment & I told him that the payments had not yet began. He questioned that the letter stated the payments would begin June 1st. That was when I had to explain, that later in the letter it also stated that because of medical evidence dad has been declared incompetent to handle his own finances and a fiduciary would need to be appointed. I started the sentence several times trying to avoid using the word incompetent in reference to dad, but there was just no way of getting around it. Surprisingly dad didn't say anything...at least not right away. As we were finishing up the meeting and getting ready to stand up, dad stopped and said, "And by the way, I am not incompetent." I should have just left it at that, but trying to explain myself I said, "Just for handling you finances dad." Dad then said, "I am not incompetent, even when it comes to my finances." I didn't say anymore.
Thank Heavens for the VA man at that point, he just reached out to shake dad's hand and said "Thank you for your service."
I have a friend that I met when I was working at the prison that works for the VA. He was the VA rep for veteran offenders & I was his liaison at the prison. I mentioned to him back in February that dad had applied for a VA Aid & Assistance pension that is available for veteran's needing home health care or assisted living and he suggested I also get dad enrolled at the VA hospital. I guess the VA has two sides, the benefits side & the medical side. And even though the pension dad had applied for was to pay for medical expenses, it is through the benefits side. By enrolling dad in the VA hospital he is now eligible for medical benefits. He has really good insurance & so far we haven't needed the VA for medical benefits, but since we don't have a crystal ball to see the future we thought it was a good idea.
Whenever we go to these types of meetings I have to walk a very fine line. I have to be able to talk to the people helping us about dad's situation without belittling him. Luckily, dad moves very slowly, so usually I can get a quick explanation in before he is in hearing distance. The intake guys desk was right next to the waiting room, so there wasn't much room for quick conversations. When he asked how he could help, I just quickly told him "My father has Dementia & we wanted to get him enrolled for medical benefits." I don't think dad heard, which was good, because he forgets that he has Dementia & then usually argues that he does not.
The hard part came later when the VA guy was asking about the pension payment for Aid & Assistance that dad is supposed to be getting. As he was looking at dad's paperwork he asked about the payment & I told him that the payments had not yet began. He questioned that the letter stated the payments would begin June 1st. That was when I had to explain, that later in the letter it also stated that because of medical evidence dad has been declared incompetent to handle his own finances and a fiduciary would need to be appointed. I started the sentence several times trying to avoid using the word incompetent in reference to dad, but there was just no way of getting around it. Surprisingly dad didn't say anything...at least not right away. As we were finishing up the meeting and getting ready to stand up, dad stopped and said, "And by the way, I am not incompetent." I should have just left it at that, but trying to explain myself I said, "Just for handling you finances dad." Dad then said, "I am not incompetent, even when it comes to my finances." I didn't say anymore.
Thank Heavens for the VA man at that point, he just reached out to shake dad's hand and said "Thank you for your service."
You are the first caregiver I've run across who actually in applying for the vet's benefits to get caregiver help. Also, you should really apply for being your father's conservator, in both person and estate matters.
ReplyDeleteAn active forum for caregivers is at http://www.agingcare.com
there you can find all sorts of searchable terms and discussions of these sorts of things.