The sun must be down now...

Dad has been "sundowning" lately. The term "sundowning" refers to a state of confusion at the end of the day and into the night. For the last two nights I have almost been able to tell time by dad's level of confusion. It starts right about 9:30.

Growing up dad was never much of a conversationalist. I can't remember just sitting down to chat with him. It's not that we didn't talk to one another; dad just wasn't one for idle chatter. This disease has definitely changed that.

We are at a hard stage of the Dementia. Dad is aware enough to know that something is not right with him, but he forgets what it is. His short-term memory is also SO short that he has a hard time following most TV shows. Lately, as I am relaxing by watching a TV show before bed, dad wants to chat.

Tonight’s conversation started with dad saying he couldn't remember why he ever quit driving, so I told him the doctor suggested he quit when he stated having problems with his memory. We have had this conversation before and it usually leads to him telling me about when he used to drive truck and how much he loved driving. Tonight the conversation took a different turn.

Instead of continuing with the driving theme, dad said he just felt like a nothing. I quickly let him know he was not a nothing, but was important and very loved, which lead him to ask if he even had a wife any more. I reminded him that mom passed away five years ago. He then asked how old I was when she died.

Anyway, I don’t really need to rehash the whole conversation…it was way too tiring the first time! The thing was that usually it takes dad a few minutes to ask a question you have already answered, but the past few nights it’s been worse. I will literally just barely be done finishing my answer and he is asking the same question.

Can I just say I hate this disease!

What's For Dinner...

When I got home from work tonight, Eli already had some chicken cooking on the barbecue. I took a peek as I walking into the house and it looked really tasty...good thing cuz I worked through lunch and was very hungry.

I was up in our bedroom taking off my shoes and getting ready to change out of my work clothes when Eli called. As I was coming down the stairs, he informed me that we were going out to eat because dinner was burnt.

We debated between Fudrucker's and In-N-Out, and decided on In-N-Out because Eli had not been to the new one n Orem yet.

As we were reading the menu, I realized there wasn't a chicken or fish option which is what dad usually gets, so he ordered a cheeseburger and a strawberry shake instead of his usual chicken or fish and chocolate milk. Change is good, right?

The wait wasn't very long, so ten minutes later we had our food and everyone began eating...everyone but dad that is. Dad is really slow at everything he does, so I didn't worry at first. Then he was pulling the lettuce out of the bun because it was too big to bite, again I didn't say anything. A few minutes later I see that his strawberry shake is half gone, but his uneaten hamburger is wrapped in a napkin. As I was telling him he needed to quit drinking his shake and take a few bites of the hamburger, I flashed back to when the boys were little and we had to make them save their drinks for last or they wouldn't finish their meal.

Dad unwrapped the hamburger and started to nibble around the edges of the burger. I was satisfied he was going to eat and started to talk to Tanner about the math class he is taking. When I looked back over at dad, he had his hamburger wrapped up again. Frustrated, I reached across the table, picked up his shake, and set it down in front of me which got a dirty look from dad. I then explained that we are worried, because he is just not eating enough and that even though he saves food to "eat later," it never gets eaten.

This time dad got stubborn and just told me that he would eat when he was ready. At that point...with the girl at the next table watching...I decided that In-N-Out is not the place to argue with dad about finishing his meal.

When we got home, dad decided he wanted to go for a walk before coming in. He takes walks around the park across the street by himself and doesn't get lost...we watch from the house just to be sure he makes it back.

Hormel makes some single serving meals and dad really likes the ones that have chicken and either mashed potatoes or stuffing, so we try to keep some on hand. While dad was taking his walk, I cooked one of the meals and put it on a plate then set a place for him to eat.

When he came in from his walk I told him dinner was ready. He told me he wasn't hungry...big surprise! It took a while, but I was finally able to get him to eat most of the meal.

What's This Gooey Stuff All Over My Shoe

Our current remodeling project (putting a dining nook where the laundry room used to be) is at the mud and tape stage. Yesterday Eli and Connor taped all the seams, and this morning Connor mudded them while Eli was at work. When he was done, he cleaned the mud off all the tools & wiped up the glops that fell on the floor, then he went to his girlfriends house.

Eli got home from work at 3:00 and was checking to see if the mud was dry when he noticed a few places that needed more mud. After he touched up the few spots, he too cleaned up his mess, washed his tools, and dumped the leftover mud in the kitchen trash.

While Eli was touching up the wall, Dad was helping me plant a flowering vine by the arbor out back. We finished just in time for dinner, so as I was putting away the tools dad went in to wash his hands for dinner. Dinner was a chicken & pasta casserole...which was very good if I do say so myself, but I digress.

Dad is always the last one done eating. By the time he was finished eating and went to put his dishes in the sink, everyone else was already doing other things. I had been in the office on the computer, and got up to go to the bathroom. As I walked out of the office, I saw dad at the sink with his shoe off. I asked what happened and he said he'd got some kind of goop on his pants and shoe. Knowing that the dinner casserole had a white sauce on it, I asked if it was from dinner. Dad's response was that he'd forgot where it came from, but that must be it. I figured dad could handle it by himself so I went on into the bathroom.

From the bathroom, I could hear dad trying to clean the goop off himself and the floor. He was talking about not being able to get it off the floor, and realized that it was sheet-rock mud he had on his pants and shoes. Since I was unable to go see what had happened, I called Eli to come help dad. Together they got the mess cleaned up.

You see...dad hates to see a trashcan filled to the top. Usually as the contents are beginning to get closer to the top of the trashcan, dad will put his foot in the trash to mash it down. Well...tonight when dad put his foot in the trash to pack it down, he stepped into the sheet-rock mud that Eli had thrown away.

I guess we need to be more careful about what we leave uncovered at the top of the trashcan.

You've Got Mail...

While dad was living at Jamestown last year, he received several cards and letters during the holiday season. He placed the pictures that were inside the cards and letters carefully on his dresser in a place where they could be easily seen. When visitors and Jamestown staff came to his room, dad was sure to tell them who people in the pictures were with great pride. The cards and letters were all placed in a neat stack on the corner of his dresser, among his collection of flashlights, watches, cuff-links and other treasures.

It wasn't until dad was living with us that I realized the reason the cards and letters were left out, instead of discarded or put away. Dad re-reads the cards and letters daily. He loves hearing about what is going on with family that he has not seen in awhile.

When I realized that dad was re-reading the cards & letters, I noticed that most of them were received around the holidays. That is except for the cards and letters he gets from his niece Donna Bolander. Donna's mother, my Aunt Lois, was an avid letter writer and it seems Donna has inherited that trait. She sends dad a card or letter about every six weeks. Then it dawned on me...Donna doesn't have a computer.

I know that it's been ages since I've had a book of stamps in my wallet, because now I am able to keep in touch with friends and family through emails and Facebook. So...I created an email account for dad! I checked for ScottyThomas, CallMeScotty, and JustCallMeScotty but they were all taken, so being very clever I decided on Vernon.justcallmescotty.thomas and it was available!

Dad has already received 4 "letters." Just like the other cards and letters, they are placed on the corner of his dresser so he can read and re-read them frequently.